Questions I Asked My Pediatrician (So You Don't Have To)

I have a note in my phone from Jamie's entire first year that is essentially a running log of every panicked question I brought to our pediatrician. I added to it after every appointment, sometimes between appointments, and occasionally at 2am when I was convinced something was wrong and needed to write it down before I forgot.

Some of these questions are very normal. Some of them are unhinged. One woman asked if she could suck her baby's brains out with the NoseFrida (answer: no). We've all been there.

All of them got answered without judgment, which is the only thing you should require from a pediatrician.

I filled in the answers so you don't have to show up to your first appointment empty-handed.

The Newborn Stage

Q: Should I be worried about knee cracking? A: No.

Q: How do I know if spit up is normal?  A: Our ped's framing that stuck with me: spit up is a laundry problem, not a medical problem. If they're gaining weight and seem comfortable after feeding, you're fine. The happy spitter vs. unhappy spitter test — if they spit up and immediately move on with their life, you're good. If they're arching their back, screaming, or refusing to eat, that's worth a call. 

Q: If a bottle feeding gets split over an hour, do we count from the first big feed or the second snack? A: Count from the start of the first feed. 

Q: What are the signs of gas and silent reflux? A: Gas: pulling legs up, arching back, fussiness that seems to ease after a good burp or a toot. Silent reflux is trickier because they're not spitting up visibly — look for swallowing after feeds like something is coming back up, general fussiness during or after eating, and disrupted sleep. If you suspect reflux, bring it up. Don't wait for the next scheduled appointment.

Q: What should I know about circumcision care? A: Keep it clean, apply Vaseline with every diaper change for the first week or two to keep it from sticking to the diaper, and don't panic if it looks a little rough during healing. It gets worse before it gets better and then it's fine. 

Q: He's been awake for four hours. Is that okay? A: Apparently not, and I wish someone had told me sooner. Newborns can only handle about 45 minutes to an hour of awake time before they're overtired. We had no idea and were just letting Jamie hang out until he melted down. Learn your baby's sleepy cues early: yawning, zoning out, rubbing eyes, getting fussy for no obvious reason. Start the wind-down before he hits the wall because once he's overtired you are in for a much harder time getting him down.

Q: How often should I wash his hair? A: One to two times a week is plenty. Daily washing can dry out their scalp. 

Q: Is sleep twitching normal? A: Yes, completely. Newborns spend a lot of time in active sleep and the twitching, jerking, and random smiling is all normal. It looks insane. It is fine.

Q: Can I use gas drops? A: Yes. Little Remedies gas drops were our go-to and our ped confirmed they're safe. They help. Use them.

Q: Is he hiccuping too much? A: No

Q: What lotion should I use? A: Something fragrance-free. We used Mustela and loved it - it's gentle and smells incredible and you can get it at Costco for the same price as everywhere else but in a bigger bottle.

Q: What are those red marks on his neck? A: Stork bites! totally normal birthmarks that most babies have. They're caused by dilated blood vessels close to the skin and they typically fade within the first couple of years. Jamie had them and they're basically gone now.

The Early Months

Q: Spit up has picked up a little. When does it become too much? A: Spit up peaks around 4 months because baby is still mostly horizontal but moving around a lot more. Our ped described it as a barrel on its side with a spigot being sloshed about. Which is disgusting and accurate.

Q: He's fussier than usual. How do I know what's wrong? A: Run through the checklist: hungry, tired, gassy, too hot, too cold, overstimulated. If none of those explain it and the fussiness has gone on for more than a few hours or is accompanied by a fever, call. Trust your gut. You know your baby better than anyone.

Q: Can I use a front-facing carrier yet? A: We actually never did front-facing because it's not great for their hips — babies need to be in the "M position" with their knees higher than their bottom for proper hip development, and most front-facing carries don't support that.

Q: He's congested. What can I do? A: Saline drops and the NoseFrida are your best friends. Humidifier in the room. Slightly elevated sleep surface if needed. 

Q: He's coughing. When do I call you? A: Our ped gave us a really useful cold timeline: days 1-2 symptoms start, days 3-5 the cough peaks, days 6-10 everything gradually improves. Call if the cough gets worse instead of better after day 5, if it hasn't improved by two weeks, if there's a fever that comes back after being gone, or if breathing seems labored. A cough that just shows up during an otherwise normal cold progression is usually nothing. When in doubt, call anyway.

Q: He's not eating as much as usual. Should I be worried? A: One off day is usually nothing. Teething, a minor illness coming on, or just a weird day can all affect appetite. If it goes on for more than a day or two or is accompanied by other symptoms, call.

Getting Mobile

Q: He's not rolling but seems like he's trying to crawl. Is that okay? A: Yes. 

Q: Does he need vitamins? A: If you're formula feeding, probably not - formula is already fortified with Vitamin D. If you're breastfeeding, Vitamin D drops are recommended starting by 4 weeks. Our ped recommends Carlson's brand D drops: one drop equals 400 IU. Ask your ped at your next appointment based on your specific situation.

Q: Is that teething or is he just mad? A: Both, probably. 

Q: There's a lot of earwax. Should I be doing something about that? A: No.

Q: When can I use sunscreen, give Motrin, and introduce water? A: All three get lumped into the "after 6 months" category but our ped was pretty pragmatic about all of them. It's less about an exact date and more about the situation and your baby's weight and development. If you're in a pinch before 6 months and sun exposure is unavoidable, a small amount of sunscreen on exposed areas is fine. Motrin is Tylenol's longer-lasting cousin and worth asking your ped about as you approach 6 months rather than waiting for an arbitrary cutoff. Water is the least urgent of the three - small sips alongside solids starting around 6 months is the goal, and before that breast milk or formula covers everything they need anyway. The takeaway: use 6 months as a rough guideline, not a hard rule, and just ask your ped when you're not sure.

Q: He sometimes wakes up screaming and then goes back to sleep after two minutes on his own. Are we causing irreparable harm by not going in? A: No. 

He was fine, by the way. They're always fine.